Why Hello There!!

It's been so long and I miss my blog.   Darn life keeps getting in the way of blogging time!  =)

I thought today, I would share some completely random and unrelated things that are swirling about in my head. 

• It's a big day here in our household.  First day of school!  Samm-samm is a Junior this year!  It doesn't seem possible that she could be old enough to be a Junior, but indeed she is.   Miss V is in third grade.  Third!  I was tearing up as I walked her down the "big kid" wing of her shcool this morning.  She told me to save it for when I got home!  Love that girl!

• Samm-samm is taking her driver's test today.  Seriously!  Somebody please stop my kids from growing any older!  *sigh*

•  This morning, while I was still gently nursing some coffee into my system, Miss V looks at me and says, "You're hair is so crazy this morning, Mom.  It's so crazy, you look kind of like a zombie!"    ...  ha...  a zombie...   ......................Twerp!

• Had a DTap shot this morning.  My arm hurts.  *pout*

• I have a lump in my breast.  While my doctor is not too concerned I will be going for a diagnostic mammogram, ASAP.  Mmhmm.  Stupid lump!

• Otherwise, he gave a clean bill of health! 

• I am aching to get back into some belly dance classes.  I really feel like even if I am practicing regularly, I won't actually progress and get better without the instruction, guidance and input of more experienced dancers.  

• My arm hurts.  

• I don't want to go for a mammogram.  =(

Story of a Girl - Chapter 9

Chapter Nine – Dear Stranger

Unfolding and reading the letter, sent to me by this stranger who had given me life, not once, but twice, was one of the most surreal experiences I have ever had in my life. It seems like a dream, looking back now. A dream that I only have bits and pieces of. The details are gone, and the parts I remember seem clouded. But, I remember the feelings.

The paper seems so loud as I unfolded it. The sound seemed to echo through the house, echoing the vast feeling of …. nothing... I was feeling. How does one, in such an emotionally charged situation, feel nothing. It was more than nothing. It like standing knee deep in a black pool of eternal nothingness. That is the best way I can describe it.

I had shut myself off from feeling anything, because I didn't know what I should be feeling. My life was in utter turmoil, and now I was now about to time travel to what felt like some other person's life.

Alphabet Soup - AKA - Brain Mush

I have so much happening in my mind right now, that I don't know how or where to start to make a purposeful, meaningful post.  I'd be happy with just a light-hearted, humorous post. 

Instead, what you are getting is some randomness.  Maybe these random thoughts will inspire some later posts, but for now, this will have to do.

~ Driving home last week after a long day of setting up a hafla, dancing, celebrating, saying good-bye, taking down and packing up a hafla and playing with friends, Victoria was starting to fall asleep.  One of her last thoughts before drifting off...  "Mom, if I could be anyone else in the world, I would want to be you!"    Talk about a heart melting moment.

~ After posting a photo on Facebook of the yummy Chicken Fricassee I made a couple weeks back someone commented that I need to get out of the house more.  I was not really sure how to take that.  Did it mean that this person just didn't get it, the way I love to cook and share my kitchen successes? OR did it mean that my photo was really unappealing!?!?  Either way, I had a good laugh at myself that it got to me and moved on.  I must make this again sometime very soon!

Chicken Fricassee adapted from Julia Child's recipe.

~  Since I started belly dancing four years ago, I have learned to accept and love my body just as it is, while at the same time embracing the desire to healthy.   So, it's okay that no matter how many crunches, and twists and shimmies I do, I will never have a tiny waist and perfectly flat stomach.  And, I'm okay with that! (PS...  I hate cardio exercise for the sake of cardio exercise.  It has to be fun.  Running?  NOT fun!   Dancing?  Fun!!)

~  A couple nights ago, I was sleeping on the couch, as My Life was sleeping very heavy and snoring very loudly.  No matter which way he laid, he still snored.  So my pillow and I made our way to the couch, and curled up under my super soft blanket.  Then it happened.  I couldn't sleep.  My mind wandered to this and that, then the over-tiredness took it's toll.  I wondered what I would do if a zombie apocalypse where to happen.  How would I get to all the doors and make sure they are locked, blocked and secure.  How would block off the french doors going out onto the deck?  I made a plan and listed off the materials I needed to be prepared.  Yes, this is how my insomnia plagued mind works.  I finally fell asleep and dreamt of hiking in the mountains with my cat.  My mind is a weird and whacky place!

~  It's spring cleaning time!   I am targeting two areas in my home this week.  My desk and the playroom.  Time to overhaul these problem spots and get a grip on them so I no longer feel the need to apologize for them, or try to hide them.

~ If it ever stops raining, I will be cutting back my raspberries.  Having never done this before, I hope I still have berry producing plants when I am done!  We love raspberries in our house and are anxious to start picking them! 

My raspberries, blueberries and strawberries when they were just babies.

I am going to take my cat and go hiking in the mountains now.  Go bless and be blessed!

Bamp-tizzle-ised

 

On our way home from Adventure Club last night:

Victoria: Oh and I want to be bat-mi-tized

Me: Do you mean baptised?

Victoria: Ya, bap-ti-mi-tized. Bat-tized.

Me: Baptised

Victoria: Bat-tismal-tized.

Me: Baptised

Victoria: Bap-ti-tised

Me: Baptised

Victoria: Bamp-ti- ..... oh forget it.

  Of course she and I both were having fits of giggles by the time we got home, over her not being able to pronounce the word.

Upon arriving and the house, she burst in the door and said, " Hi Daddy.  Guess what!?!?  I want to be bamp-ti-mi-tized!"

Dad:  What?

Insert roars of laughter from both Victoria and I here.  

SSShhhhh, it's Victoria's secret.

 

 

Friendship Friday - Feb 10, 2012

Friday means Friendship Friday, a fun and friendly blog hop hosted each week by the lovely Create With Joy. Each week she posts a question and provides the opportunity to network with other bloggers. I am enjoying being a part of it and encourage any bloggers who would like to expand their blogging network to give it a try.

Question Of The Week
Share something unique about your blog!

 

 What is most unique about my blog, at least I think, is that it really is a reflection of me.  Those who know me in 3d life would probably say that I project myself pretty accurately on my blog.  I don't have a blog persona, per sai.  It's just me.  The general mood and feel of my blog evolves and changes as I do.  Over the years, my blog has had many transformations, (you can check out my first blog, Legacy, if you like)  but what hasn't changed is that it is pure me.  I hope this is true.  It is what I want.  =)

Freedom in the Journey

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"   ~Hebrews 12:1

neglect <------------------------------------------------> obsession

^

balance point

freedom

Our society seems to have come to a place where more people live on one end or the other of the above scale, than people who live somewhere in the middle.  

Story of a Girl, Chapter 6

Chapter Six – The Joy of Motherhood



Before I knew it, I was young mother of two healthy, wonderful children. I was only twenty when Joshua was born. It was only two days less than a year later when Alexandra was born. I really didn't know what I was doing. But, I loved being a mom. If you had asked me then, I would have told that I wanted to just keep having babies until I couldn't anymore. I was very much in love with my babies and with being a mom.



When Josh's birth was nearing, I had asked Mom to be there through the labor and when he was born. She was very nervous about that. My mom had confessed in the weeks leading up to Josh's birth that she was both excited and anxious about meeting her grandchild as she had never cared for or even held a brand new baby before. My brother was six weeks old when Mom and Dad brought him home, and I was five months. My mom felt ill-equipped, but I assured her that she would be fine. As things would have it, Josh was born by cesarean and Mom and Dad were on their bi-annual hunting trip when the time came. They made daily trips from their campsite back down to the highway to use a phone and check in with us. They came home when he was born. They got to come meet him the next day. It was very moving to see my mom hold Josh. Tears streamed down her cheek as she kissed him over and over. Dad just smiled from ear to ear the entire time he held the baby.



In the weeks that followed Josh's birth, my mom and dad came to visit as often as their schedule and I would allow. Mom felt so bad that she wasn't able to offer advise or insight as I struggled with breast feeding. However, she was such a proud Grandma, and enjoyed learning right along with me.



Grandma and Grandpa continued to spend as much time as possible with Josh during his first year. Then, came Lexi. Also born by cesarean, my parents were again thrilled to experience a newborn grandchild. When it was time to come home from the hospital, my mom came and picked us up. Mom had recently had surgery herself and was not yet 100%, but would not pass up the opportunity to stay with me for a week or so while I adjust to having two babies and recover from surgery. As exhausted as I was, and as foggy as my memory is during those first few days home, I do remember that I was loving sharing the experience with my mom. I think we bonded on a whole new level.



Through those early years of being a mother, I would occasionally consider my birth mother. I wondered if they had let her hold me or even see me. I imagined how hard it must have been to do what she did. I think that most women who make the choice to give up a baby for adoption must feel like someone just ripped a part of their heart right out. Even under the most horrific conditions of an unplanned pregnancy, there is an undeniable bond between a mother and the child that stirs in her womb. I cannot even fathom the amount of emotional pain one must go through to make the choice to give up a child. Nor do I want to.



I am just thankful that my birth mother put herself second and me first. The painful sacrifice she made is the reason I am who I am. She gave me life, twice. Not just by giving birth to me, but also by loving me enough to give me a better life. And nothing has given me more gratitude for her choice than becoming a mother myself, and watching my parents be the loving grandparents that they are.

Red Velvet Cake...

... is what cakey dreams are made of.   Why, oh why, have I never had this before?

Anyways, here are just a couple snapshots from our wonderful Valentine's dinner last night.

The centerpiece.

I have made cards for D and the girls.  I also made them each a list of  "10 Things I Love About You" that I placed on each place setting.  They so enjoyed reading their lists.

Then once we were all served up our dinners, Darin and the girls each took turns making a list of 10 things they love about me.  Yes, I cried.  I was so blessed.

Well, my plate seems to be scraped clean and the laundry calls.  Blast it.

Our littlest Angel, AHEM, Cheerleader!

Vicki is six.

She is also in first grade.

She is also a cheerleader.  Can you see her?

How about now?

 

These little girls were seriously adorable.  I was having a hard time keeping my camera still to get some pictures because I was smiling and laughing and almost crying the entire time.

They wiggled their butts.  They really did.

I almost cried.   Instead I laughed.

It just doesn't get better than this.

Except maybe when she snuggles with me at home and whispers, "You're the best Mommy in the whole wide world, Mom."  

Then I smile and say, "You're the best Vicki in the whole entire universe, Vicki."

Then usually some hugging is involved.  Or, maybe some giggling.  Often, both.

Where It Begins

My heart broke yesterday when I read about the young man who ended his life after being outed on YouTube by his roommate and others at college.
Bullying is by no means a new problem. I was bullied in school by a group of mean girls, and silently started to believe what they said. It took me years to shake that off.

It needs to stop.

EVERY life is valuable.

If want our kids to respect one another, then it starts with us. Come on parents, lets teach our kids to respect themselves and others by living as an example. If you speak degrading of others or call them names just because you disagree them or their decisions, and you are supposedly the mature adult, how are your children, who are sponges, absorbing and learning from everything around them, supposed to know better than to behave the same way. 
 
Getting off my soapbox now.

Reflections

Yesterday was my baby boy's 20 birthday.  He's all grown'd up now. 

Well mostly.  Men never really fully grow up, do they?

I remember how scared I was the night before he was born.  First time in a hospital.  First time having surgery.  Yes, he was measuring huge and all my levels were about to go toxic.    But, the surgery went well.  I had an epidural and did not feel a thing. 

Josh was born at 9 lbs and 21 1/2 inches long.  He was shaped like a little football player.

He was the cutest and sweetest baby boy you ever did meet!  He continued to be the cutest and sweetest kid as he grew.  

Even now.  Still one of the kind-hearted-est (new word) young men you would ever meet.  And darn handsome too. 

Oh look, there's Lexi too.  She also just celebrated a birthday.  She turned 19 four days ago.

When she was born, Josh wasn't even a year old yet.  I was still in the hospital on his first birthday.  I got to visit with him for about 20 mins. 

Lexi was also born by Cesarean.  the was 7 lbs 10 oz and also 21 1/2 inches long.  (how is it that I can remember these numbers, but not my cell phone #?)   She also was a very cute baby.

That's just how I make them.  =)

She didn't sleep for months.  At least not during the night.  She cried.  A lot.  A. LOT. 

She was a feisty child who was always willing to fight for what she wanted.  And now she is beautiful young woman, trying to figure out what she wants, so she can then fight for it.  =)

What amazing blessings these two have been.  As have been Sammantha and Vicki.  But they are another post! 

So a reflection of a different kind.  I got my hair cut.  I tried to get a self portrait to show off the new do. 
I am not very good at self portrait. 

So I tried using a mirror...

Not very good.  Can't even see the hair.  Wasn't that the point?

Well, here's the hair with a very poor quality photo. 

No more self portraits for me.

Toad, Also known as Vicki's potential prince

We have a couple toads or frogs or whatever you want to call them living under our deck.  One is quite tiny and the other only moderately small.  They are both a greenish brown and bumpy. 

They frequently venture out from under our deck and hand out in our gardens.  I wasn't going to blog about them, because try as I might, I can't seem to get a really good picture one of them.   Everytime I find one hanging out in the garden, it sees me and runs, ahem, hops away.  And in it panick, hops right into the lattice that surrounds the space under deck every time. 

Every time. No ever accused a toad of being overly intelligent.

I have this one picture, but it is a little blurry as Vicki decided she couldn't stand still.  I think she was in early stages of peepeedancetosis. 

I have discovered a wonderful thing about having toads living under the deck.   Toad hunting (not in the death inducing I'm going to eat you way) occupies a 6 year old for extended periods of time. 

She has not yet named the toads.   Nor has she tried to kiss them.



Did you know that there is no difference between toads and frogs?  It is just two names for one crazycuteyetdisgustinghoppyjumpynotsosmart species.

Up Next... 'Smores!

 It has been a long tradition in our family to sit around a fire and roast marshmallows together.  So, today we built a firepit in our backyard. 

Once the perfect location was decided on, we dove right in and everyone helped.

Voila!  Tonight, we eat smores!

I love smores!