Reflections

Yesterday was my baby boy's 20 birthday.  He's all grown'd up now. 

Well mostly.  Men never really fully grow up, do they?

I remember how scared I was the night before he was born.  First time in a hospital.  First time having surgery.  Yes, he was measuring huge and all my levels were about to go toxic.    But, the surgery went well.  I had an epidural and did not feel a thing. 

Josh was born at 9 lbs and 21 1/2 inches long.  He was shaped like a little football player.

He was the cutest and sweetest baby boy you ever did meet!  He continued to be the cutest and sweetest kid as he grew.  

Even now.  Still one of the kind-hearted-est (new word) young men you would ever meet.  And darn handsome too. 

Oh look, there's Lexi too.  She also just celebrated a birthday.  She turned 19 four days ago.

When she was born, Josh wasn't even a year old yet.  I was still in the hospital on his first birthday.  I got to visit with him for about 20 mins. 

Lexi was also born by Cesarean.  the was 7 lbs 10 oz and also 21 1/2 inches long.  (how is it that I can remember these numbers, but not my cell phone #?)   She also was a very cute baby.

That's just how I make them.  =)

She didn't sleep for months.  At least not during the night.  She cried.  A lot.  A. LOT. 

She was a feisty child who was always willing to fight for what she wanted.  And now she is beautiful young woman, trying to figure out what she wants, so she can then fight for it.  =)

What amazing blessings these two have been.  As have been Sammantha and Vicki.  But they are another post! 

So a reflection of a different kind.  I got my hair cut.  I tried to get a self portrait to show off the new do. 
I am not very good at self portrait. 

So I tried using a mirror...

Not very good.  Can't even see the hair.  Wasn't that the point?

Well, here's the hair with a very poor quality photo. 

No more self portraits for me.

Refuge

From my Bible reading today, these words spoke strongly to me as I learn to trust in Him and anticipate His voice speaking into my life.

Psalm 5:3 (NAS)
In the morning, O Lord, you will hear my voice.
In the morning I will order my prayers to you and eagerly watch.


Psalm 5:11 - 12 (ESV)
11  But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
         let them ever sing for joy,
     and spread your protection over them,
         that those who love your name may exult in you.
12  For you bless the righteous, O Lord;
         you cover him with favor as with a sheild.

Mourning....

... Mushrooms.

That's right.  I am mourning mushrooms.

No one in my house likes mushrooms.  I long to make a stroganof loaded with mushrooms, or wild rice with mushroom stuffing or... pretty much anything with mushrooms. 

I make an amazing wine sauce that just cries out for some lightly sauteed mushroom. 

*WAAAAAAA*

Oh tasty little fungi, how I long for your presence in my kitchen. 

One day we shall meet again at my cutting board.

I Dream of Karie

One of the reoccurring dreams that I have is of my friend Karie.  Karie passed away May 15, 2006 and these reoccurring dreams started very shortly afterwards.  I am always looking for her and sometimes I find her, and sometimes I don't.  Usually when I find her, she needs me to help her get away from something.  The dreams always leave me with mixed feelings.  A little unsettled, a little sad, and sometimes even a little happy to have seen her, even if it wasn't real.

The other night I dreamt of Karie.  But, this dream wasn't like the others.  I was with her in what was supposedly her apartment and we had no food.  I don't remember how it came about, but she got very upset with me and told me to leave.   My sleeping mind had me wandering the streets around her apartment, bumping into this person or that, and I just kept telling them that I didn't understand why Karie was so mad, and they all seemed to know what I was talking about.

I awoke from this dream feeling quite upset.  Why would my subconscious mind bring me these images.  Images of Karie mad and yelling at me? 

I understand the reoccurring theme of looking for her, as I miss her greatly and her life ended way too soon.  But, why an argument? 

It was disturbing.  I felt annoyed at myself, and hurt.  Like it was real and Karie really was mad.  I hate those lingering emotions from dreams. 

Except the good emotions. 

So I share some pictures of the beautiful Karie with you and say a prayer for her beautiful daughters. 

I miss you Karie.

YAY!

My D is home today. 

Talk to you later. 

=D

ACK!

Yesterday, I prepared the dough to make these Chocolate Chip Cookie Sweet Rolls. 

Yes, click the link and go see what they are supposed to look like.

I'll wait.

They look awesome right?  Amazing even.

Today I took my dough and made my rolls. 

Awesome?   Not so much.

Amazing?  Not really close. 

ACK!  Help me PW!

At least they should taste good.  I.hope.

I'll let you know once I bake them.

Hmph!




I remember now why.I.hate.baking.

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A Little Problem That I Have

I have a little problem with yarn.  If you can relate, head on over here to read about mine. 

Today, In My Kitchen

Here is what is happening in my kitchen today:
Crustless Low-Carb Cheesecake    and  Chocolate Chip Cookie Sweet Rolls

I still have a few more pounds to lose.  Clearly that may have to wait until next week.  *smile*

And for breakfast, V and I had this:

Quick Blackberry Eggs

Yes, blackberries and eggs work together in this recipe which has a flavor similiar to french toast.
Recipe makes one serving. 

1 egg

5-6 fresh blackberries (or frozen berries, thawed)

1 tbsp cream cheese

2 tsp table syrup, or more to taste  (I use sugar-free)

Whisk eggs. 

Soften cream cheese in microwave. 

Mash blackberries. 

Add cream cheese, berries and syrup to eggs and whisk together until smooth. There will be some lumps of cream cheese. 

Pour into greased ramekin.

Microwave for 1 min - 1-1/2 min.  They will puff up while cooking, then shrink back again when you take them out.

Turn them out onto a plate, or serve them right in their ramekins.  Sprinkle with powdered sugar for a nice effect and drizzle with syrup.

Mmmm!

stuck

I keep looking at this blank page.  It looks back at me and mocks me.  Laughs even.

I used to love to write.  Every piece of paper was an invitation to write a story.  (Dating myself here by referencing when writing was done on paper.)  Or a poem.  Or some introspective musings. 

Now I have the desire.  In fact I long to write again.  But the blankness of the page is so intimidating.  No longer does hold promise for the outpouring of my inner thoughts. 

It's.Just.Blank.

Does this mean I have nothing left to say?  Have I lost my creative drive?  Is my life just so boring that I can't pull even a morsel out to inspire me? 

*Sigh*

So now what?  How does one push through this?   Seriously, I want ideas.   Maybe, ideas for posts.  Or ideas on how to rekindle a dulled creative spark. 

Please....

Just Wondering...

.... why I have to catch every sick that V brings home!?!?!

The Consistency of ...

As I am sitting here staring at this empty box that begs to be written in, I am finishing off the cold, left over oatmeal from Vicki's breakfast. 

(I do not take credit for this photo. I stole borrowed it from Fitness Health Zone)

Normally, I love oatmeal.  But this is cold. 

I usually prefer it to be thick.  This is runny. 

I don't like to add sugar.  This is sweetened.

Overall, it is pretty disappointing.  I wonder when I started eating my children's leftovers instead of making myself something I really enjoy.  Then ...

... I hear D's voice in my head.  "I will never know how tasty you can make it, because I can't get past that it is the consistency of snot!"

Yeah.  Snot. 

He's not wrong.

I am grossed out now. 

I Think I will get a yogurt. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No Diving in the Shallow Water

I love it when I innocently go somewhere or do something and find myself inspired to greater things.

Sometimes, it's the little things that inspire me to be a better person, mother, wife, friend, daughter, etc.  Just a touch, a look, a hug, a memory, some laughter, a tear, or a little voice saying, "I love you, Mommy".

Or, a recipe that inspires a great meal. 

Or, it can be more profound.  Like watching a mother and father in church on Sunday, giving their praise to God with tears in their eyes, with their little girl at their side.  Their little girl, whom just came home from Children's hospital, and is getting the upper hand in her battle with cancer.

Or being inspired to push through my block and get writing in blog again.  (Thanks PW)

Today, I am feeling inspired as a performer.  Last night, I went to see some belly dancers perform in Bellingham.  Not just any dancers, but the Mahala Dancers.  Their choreography was creative and beautiful.  Their costumes were gorgeous, all designed and made by one of the dancers.  Seriously, these ladies ooze talent.

But, the best part of all was the feeling I walked away with.  This feeling of joy.  This remembering of why I love to dance.  Why, I love the art of belly dance.   I could go on and on about all the wonderful things about it, but that is whole other post.  Probably posts.  More likely a book.  =)

The point is, I am inspired.  So today, I shall dance.

 And probably dream of heavenly costumes that I cannot afford.

 I should get my sewing machine fixed.

Cheers and Jeers....

... for the first day of school.

Cheers:

bad kitty!

~ for two beautiful daughters excited about heading back to school ~

Jeers:

~ to Liquorice for peeing on Samm's bed while she is getting ready for school ~

Cheers:
~ To Vicki looking adorable in her new school clothes. 
Cuteness factor: 100 on a scale of 1 to 10 ~

Jeers:
~ to ME for not getting a picture of Samm (bad mom) as she was worried about being out at the bus stop on time and I didn't want to stress her out by delaying her ~

Cheers:
~ to Vicki's school principal and many of the support staff at the school  for meeting and greeting students and parents at the front door this morning, AND escorting them to the classrooms ~

Jeers:
~ to all the parents who parked in the pull through at Vicki's school.  There are two lots of designated parking that were full of EMPTY parking spots.  I could rant on and on... but I won't.   Maybe on a different post.  Probably to D later.  Poor guy. ~

Cheers:

~ to D for working hard so that I can be home and able to see off Samm and walk Vicki to school every day! ~

Happy first day of school! 

Now, what to do.... what to do....