My Heart is so Heavy

I am sitting here with shaky hands, a pounding heart and tears in my eyes.  I just watched as my mom fell out of their truck as Dad was trying to help her climb into it.  Dad and I were helpless to help her.

You see, my mom is extremely overweight.  I can't even venture a guess at how much she weighs.  Carrying too much weight for most of her adult life has destroyed her knees.  She has no cartilage left in them, so they are bone rubbing on bone.  Both knees.  Extremely painful.  She has developed sciatica in one of her hips as a result of her bad knees and strain from the weight.  She can barely walk.  One of her legs can hardly even move anymore.   They won't operate, because she is too high risk for complications, because of her weight.

Dad is 70+ years old.  His back has never been the same since he broke it falling out of a tree 8 or 9 years ago.  And he has problems with his own knees.  It is getting nearly impossible for him to assist my mom with stairs and such anymore.   Dad can see that. 

Mom cannot.  She is in denial. 

Dad knows that they can't keep travelling.  There are getting to be too many falls.  And one of these times one or both of them is going to get seriously hurt. 

I am so sad.  Sad, because Dad isn't ready to give up travelling.  Sad, because Mom knows that and thinks that she can keep pushing herself even though she is pretty much immobile.  And the pushing causes her pain.  They are both hurting.  Physically, yes.  But, their hearts hurt the most. 

I know what they need to do.  I am sure that if they are truly being honest with themselves, they too know what they need to do.  But, the worrisome thing is that neither will admit it.  Scarier still is that I think one of them (or both) is going to get seriously hurt before they will admit it, when they will no longer have a choice.

Toad, Also known as Vicki's potential prince

We have a couple toads or frogs or whatever you want to call them living under our deck.  One is quite tiny and the other only moderately small.  They are both a greenish brown and bumpy. 

They frequently venture out from under our deck and hand out in our gardens.  I wasn't going to blog about them, because try as I might, I can't seem to get a really good picture one of them.   Everytime I find one hanging out in the garden, it sees me and runs, ahem, hops away.  And in it panick, hops right into the lattice that surrounds the space under deck every time. 

Every time. No ever accused a toad of being overly intelligent.

I have this one picture, but it is a little blurry as Vicki decided she couldn't stand still.  I think she was in early stages of peepeedancetosis. 

I have discovered a wonderful thing about having toads living under the deck.   Toad hunting (not in the death inducing I'm going to eat you way) occupies a 6 year old for extended periods of time. 

She has not yet named the toads.   Nor has she tried to kiss them.



Did you know that there is no difference between toads and frogs?  It is just two names for one crazycuteyetdisgustinghoppyjumpynotsosmart species.

The Fine Art of PB & J

Vicki was making Grandma a sandwich.  "PB & J's are the best," she declared.  

"You can't rush it," Vicki informed me.  "There has to be peanut butter on every part."

I like the red paper clip on the table.  I seriously have no idea where that came from.

Vicki carefully spread the peanut butter on all parts, right to the corners. 

"You have to put peanut butter on both pieces of bread so that the jam doens't make the bread soggy."

"Looks ready for the J!"

 

Spreading the jam, Vicki declared, "You can't put on too much at once, because then it makes a mess."

The sound on the video isn't that great, but what Vicki says is that she should go into business making sandwiches.  "Vicki's Famous Sandwiches" and she would charge $1.00.

Grandma said it was the best PB & J ever!

SQUEAL!

I am so excited about this arriving today!!!  I actually squealed.  I did.  It was a little embarrassing. 

Seriously, if you like cook books, (to say that I like them is a small understatement as I have shelves and shelves of them), go buy this cookbook NOW!  It is gorgeous and the recipes are amazing! 

The Pioneer Woman Cooks
Go.

Now.

You won't regret it.



Oh and FYI: Amazon.com is seriously the cheapest way to buy new books. I have not yet found anything that beats it. And just to give you an idea how awesome it is, I ordered these on Monday, chose free shipping (which they say is 4-5 days), got a shipping confirmation on Tuesday then received them today (Wednesday). OMGosh Becki! I am sooooo cooking something from this beauty today!

Darin is really going to wish he wasn't on a diet right now!

~*poof*~